By Crystal Olague || Staff Writer
Mental health is a tricky thing. It affects us every day, and we never know how it will affect us. I’ve spent the last three weeks avoiding this article because I didn’t know what I wanted to write about, and I still don’t, but that’s the thing. It’s so hard to put into words what I am feeling or how my mind is running on a given day, primarily because I choose to ignore it all the time, hoping that I’ll feel better if I just pretend I’m better.
It’s strange because now that I’m in college, I’m more aware of how I’m feeling, and most of the time, I just feel empty. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I feel like a lot of you understand what I mean. At times, I wish I could just disappear and fade away to run from all my problems and responsibilities that I don’t want to deal with at the time. Other times, I feel as though there is a void that I can’t seem to feel, or I don’t know how to feel and that scares me. On rare occasions, I feel a deep sadness that has been a part of me from a young age, but I never really understood. I believe that most people go through something similar in their lives, and whether they talk about it or not, there’s a way for all of us to connect with each other, and that’s why different types of therapies work and really help people, if you want to help people and you want to create a business now that you are in college, you can get a hypnotherapist certification online and start your own business.
College also doesn’t help with the way some people feel. College was a chance for me to branch out and overcome the fears I had in the past, which I am grateful for and will continue to keep doing, but in other ways, it wasn’t so helpful. I never experienced true loneliness until I came here. Now, when I say this I don’t mean that I feel alone, but there are times when I’m simply lonely. I’m sure you all know the saying where you can still be lonely surrounded by a group of people. That is exactly how I feel sometimes, and it’s hard to express this when people see you as someone who always has someone to talk to when that’s not how it feels to me. I don’t always know how to express myself properly, and if I’m being honest, I don’t really want to do that. It’s something that I am trying to work through, but it is hard.
I just want this article to show people that they are not alone in their experiences and hopefully give a chance for people to connect with each other or start a conversation. I hope you all are doing okay, and if you’re not, I hope things get better.
Crystal Olague ‘24 is a Staff Writer. Her email is colague@fandm.edu.