You Can’t Steal That
By: Anonymous We have some nice things on this campus — and for the amount you’re paying in tuition, you might feel entitled to “repossess” certain items you come across.…
Advertising New Wonder Sludge! A Quick Fix to a College Student’s Diet
By Teagan Durkin || Contributing Writer Are you sick and tired of having to set aside time for chewing and swallowing? Do you wish you could condense all the necessities…
Cuffing Season
By Crystal Olague || Contributing Writer Ah, it’s that dreaded time again, cuffing season. That point in the year when we all rush to find someone to cuddle with so…
America, Home of the Great
For the first time this past fall, students were finally able to go abroad in the fall since covid, and people have not been shy letting everyone know their whereabouts.…
My Very Cool, Very Real Winter Break
Hello all. Despite my many prayers to various gods, it would appear that winter break is behind us. In an effort to distract myself from soul-crushing work, I decided to…
The Onion Dip: Missing Persons Report
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon us… William Shakespeare is missing. Height: 6 foot Weight: Paper…
The Best Way to Judge a Person, Based On Me
By Darij Kulchyckyj | | Contributing Writer Many people like to choose a judgment of character and personality via spending time with others, music taste, favorite food, favorite color, nut…
Franklin the Turtle: A True Diplomat
By Carolyn South || Contributing Writer We all are acutely, painfully aware of the fact that Franklin & Marshall College was named for Benjamin Franklin and John Marshall. I believe…
What Came First, the Bag or the Egg?
By Akil Smart | | Contributing Writer Eggs. They come in all shapes and sizes. And occasionally bags. If you are a frequent diner at Dhall you may or may…
Bullying is Good
By Rohail Spear | Managing Editor You may be wondering about this title. Surely, I can’t be advocating for bullying people. Well, I am. So.. It is true that most…
Balling on a Budget: The F&M Story
By Akil Smart | Contributing Writer Now, as many of us have seen, the F&M administration has made a small adjustment to our tuition. A mere 3.5% increase! Putting us…
Catfish
By Abigail Glickman || Onion Dip Editor In my opinion, the end of March is the best time of the year. The weather is all out of sorts. One day,…
What Your Spring Break Says About You
By Abigail Glickman || Onion Dip Editor What a beautiful time of the year it is. The much needed break that everyone has been oh so craving. Midterms are finishing…
A Most Disturbing Disappearance
By Carolyn South || Contributing Writer As I’m sure everyone is acutely aware, there has been an abduction on the campus of Franklin and Marshall. Seven trash cans have vanished…
You Are Just a Bad Person
By Abigail Glickman || Onion Dip Editor Speaking from someone who has never seen an episode of Euphoria, I feel I can justifiably express my opinion. The way this show…