What to Get Your Situationship: Valentine’s Day Edition
Image Courtesy of Creative Commons The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Looking for a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift for that…
Goose on the Loose!
Hello, students of F&M! I’m the goose who spent the weekend hanging around your campus! It was a pleasure getting to know some of you from afar. If you don’t…
Battle of the Mascots
Junior Carrie Teti is the Arts & Leisure Editor for The College Reporter. Her email is cteti@fandm.edu.
We Need Global Warming, It’s Freezing
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. On January 19th, 2025, something tragic happened. A winter storm has arrived in Lancaster,…
New Club Spotlight: The Off-Campus Club
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Are you a senior living in College Row or West James? Have you abandoned…
Ruins of Registration
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. At almost midnight on several early November nights, it was silent at Franklin and…
Am I the Only One Still Voting for Biden?
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s election season, and it seems like all anyone can talk about is who…
Wellness Center Closed on the Weekends: How This Betters the Lives of Students
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a month ago, I moved into F&M. A few days in, following endless…
This Air STINKS!
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s a cool, crisp Thursday morning in mid-September, and you’re all ready to set…
Should You Spend on the Vend?
Photo courtesy of Nora Williams. The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. That deep blue neon lighting casts its light out…
Think Your Dorm Assignment Was Bad This Year? I Had to Live in DHall
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I know a lot of first-year students have had horrible experiences with housing. However,…
Adherants of Eclipse-Worshipping Mystery Cult Spotted on Hartman Green
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. “Sol lucebit, et Lunam circum Terram orbit, nam nisi vage definitae res fient.” –…
Social Media is Kinda Horrid
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a week ago, rumors started spreading that TikTok would be shutting down. Again.…
Kiwibots: National Hockey League, Harvard, and Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Last semester, The College Reporter published an investigative video by Berkley Frost exploring the…
I Took the Drunk Bus to Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I took the drunk bus this weekend. I don’t know why I did it.…