Hello, students of F&M! I’m the goose who spent the weekend hanging around your campus! It was a pleasure getting to know some of you from afar. If you don’t know who I am, just check your email.
I’m sure many of you are wondering why I was at your school in the first place. I heard some rumors going around that I had a case of the bird flu, which I don’t appreciate… Oh, humans, always assuming I have bird flu just because I’m a bird. Now, I haven’t been having any bird flu symptoms lately, but I would still like to thank all of you for keeping your distance from me. Who knows what other diseases I might have.
Anyway, let me explain my side of the story. On the last day of January, my flock and I had just departed from the Middle Creek Wildlife Management Area. We had so much fun there! As a young goose, this was my first time visiting Middle Creek, but I had heard all about it from my family, and it lived up to my expectations. We took some time to chill out and unwind from our long migration while also partying it up with thousands of other snow geese. It was a blast, except for when my uncle got eaten by an eagle. But, oh well, we weren’t that close anyway.
Leaving Middle Creek was hard, but I knew there were many exciting things to come on our migration journey. As we flew over the city of Lancaster, something caught my eye. It was a building, not too far from a football field, and the sides of it were covered in the brightest shade of blue I’ve ever seen. I slowed down to get a better look at the blue building, and I got so distracted by it, I lost track of my flock! They were so far ahead of me, there was no way I could ever catch up. I panicked, not knowing what to do, but then I decided to land and further investigate that obscenely blue building.
The sign outside of the building said it was a Welcome Center (yes, I can read). What was a “Welcome Center,” I wondered. There was no welcome center at Middle Creek with people there to greet us as we came in for a landing. Well, I think there was a welcome center there now that I think about it, but it wasn’t for geese.
After looking at it for only a few seconds, the blue building started to hurt my eyes, so I decided to explore other parts of the area. There were some nice-looking buildings across the street that I wanted to see, but that street was a nightmare. There were so many cars speeding through that intersection, even when the traffic light was red. Fortunately, I was able to fly over the cars to get to the other side. I don’t know how you humans cross that street without wings. You must be very brave.
The first place I visited on the other side of the road was the meadow outside of the building labeled “Roschel College House.” It was a nice place. I enjoyed the vegetation and the little puddles of water that were there. The building, though, was a little too pretentious for me, so I left the area.
I waddled down the sidewalk and turned right when I saw a beautiful enclosed garden. It was a peaceful spot, with lovely trees and little worry of students accidentally trampling me as they rushed to class. The one problem I had with that spot, though––and your campus overall––was that there were way too many squirrels. A group of them congregated in the garden and made a lot of noise, disturbing the peace. I honked at them, but the squirrels continued being rowdy. So, I left the garden and continued exploring.
That was when I found my favorite spot. I had to walk across a lot of grass to get there, but once I did, it was amazing. I stood outside of a building where I saw many of you go inside, stay for a while, and then come out, sometimes with food. I guessed that this was your Dining Hall. A few of you dropped some food on the ground, clearly on purpose, but that provided me with something to eat. I have to agree with you, it wasn’t very good. If that wasn’t the only food I had that day, I would have dropped it on the ground, too.
Next to the Dining Hall was a building that seemed like a place where people hung out with each other and then slept at night. I felt safe standing there, between the dining hall and the housing building. There was a row of shrubs separating the two locations, so I hung around there during the night. It was very pleasant.
The next morning, I overheard some of you talking, saying that an email had been sent out telling you to stay away from me. I’m glad you stayed away from me since I didn’t want to get you infected with any of my weird goose diseases, but at the same time, it made me sad. It was lonely without my flock. Later that morning, they took me away.
I really enjoyed my time at F&M, but you guys might want to do something about that Welcome Center. A color that bright is distracting for everyone, even geese like me. That building is the whole reason why I got separated from my family, accused of having bird flu, and taken away from my spot on campus by the authorities. Your lovely campus would be so much more beautiful without it. Anyway, thanks for letting me camp out there for one night. You were very hospitable, at least until you started those rumors about me. I hope to fly over your campus again next year, although hopefully, I’ll be able to keep up with my flock next time. See you again, F&M!
Junior Carrie Teti is the Arts and Leisure Editor. Her email is cteti@fandm.edu.